Parents Behaving Badly: When to Utilize Law Enforcement

Q:  Should I call the police to make a report that my ex was 30 minutes late for visitation?

A:  No.  Never.

Very little is more frustrating for parents and custody lawyers than unnecessarily dramatic visitation exchanges.  Some parents have such a high level of conflict between them one parent insists on exchanging the children at the local jail or police department.  Sometimes, a locale like this is necessary where there are allegations of violence between the parties, but most of the time, one parent or the other has decided to use the presence of law enforcement to harass or threaten the other party.  Imagine how a child must feel to have to go to a jail because mom and dad can’t get along well enough to meet at a Wendy’s.

Even when visitation exchanges don’t occur at the county jail, many parents make the mistake of involving law enforcement in custody exchanges.  This is the sort of conduct that causes every judge I’ve ever met to roll his or her eyes in exasperation.  The primary reason given for involving law enforcement is to “make a record” of the other parent’s supposedly inappropriate behavior.  These “record-making” efforts are often fruitless, inappropriate, and reflect badly on everyone involved, not just the “offending” parent.

When my clients ask me when they should involve law enforcement, my answer is always the same:

“Police officers and sheriff’s deputies are not your personal custody secretaries.  You need to contact them ONLY if you believe that you are in imminent physical danger or that your children are in imminent physical danger.  If not, call me, and we’ll deal with the problem appropriately during business hours.”