Tip to Settle Your Divorce: STOP TALKING

So, you want to settle your divorce case?

Picture this: You and your spouse had a major blowup. You’ve been kicked out of your house and served with divorce papers.

Hiring a lawyer will cost a fortune. You really want to settle your divorce without breaking the bank.

Your phone is blowing up every hour with hate-texts from your spouse accusing you of everything from adultery to hiding money. Your household is hemorrhaging money.

You’d love to make this an uncontested divorce. You’d love to just settle your divorce. 

You repeatedly respond to the hate-texts from your soon-to-be-ex with pleas for common sense and logic:

“Let’s sit down. We can work this out. We don’t need to spend tons of money on lawyers.”

“Just listen to me.”

Why won’t this person just listen to you? There’s no need to be ugly and wasteful. You just want to keep this as amicable as possible.

Again and again and again, you try to talk calmly and sensibly about settlement. But, every time you try and have a discussion, your spouse gets angry and accuses you of being overbearing and controlling. “Why can’t we just settle our divorce?”

Because you won’t STOP TALKING.

SHUT. UP.

So, this person hasn’t listened to a word you’ve said for years. You need to realize that you are divorcing the EXACT SAME PERSON you have been married to for all these years. If you haven’t been able to peacefully resolve problems in the past, it’s unlikely divorce is going to make that any easier. This person doesn’t believe you when you are talking. Your voice, presence, even existence, makes this person furious. You can forget about settling.

Now, over 90% of all divorces are settled outside of court. Yours can be, too. But, you may need to take a break. Step back. Stop pushing. Give these discussions a little space and air.

Stop talking.

And then, inform yourself about the different aspects of divorce here, here, and here.